Poor Philly Phans ...

The two biggest news items in the Philly area right now are the 49-21 bitch-slappin' the Denver Broncos put on the Eagles yesterday and the SEPTA strike, which has shut down bus, trolley, and subway routes throughout the city.

Mike, my not-so-subtle co-worker was lamenting this morning. "Poor Eagles fans," he said, "now they don't even have a bus to jump in front of."

I told Ms N to get lost ...

Or, how to get lost, as it were. She had directions to the MVS (Jersey's version of the DMV) that didn't sound right, so I gave her revised directions. She followed mine, then called me to report that she had no idea where she was.

Turns out the directions I had were to the former MVS location. They moved since last time I was there.

Sorry, Ms N.

I've bought her flowers for "no reason" before. Well, there are reasons ... they just haven't always happened yet.

Crappy Morning

I live in a bottom floor apartment. Last night, when I was just finally getting to sleep, I heard vacuous gurgling noises from my bathroom. Figuring it was just a portal to the deeper reaches of Hell opening up in my toilet, I decided to leave it be. I mean, I was rather tired at that point, and the armies of darkness generally don’t make much of a mess. They even lock the door behind them when they leave to go terrorize the countryside. Plus I had my fan on, so I’d still be cool despite the venting from the infernal fires burning in the netherworld.

I woke up (late) this morning and went into the bathroom as usual. Last night’s noises were not on the tip of my mind until I rounded the corner. While there was not a cavernous entryway to the realms of eternal damnation, there was a bathtub filled with water and gunk that I’m rather sure I didn’t put in there. I looked in the toilet and water level was rather high.

Oh goody – sewage backup. Mental note: don’t flush.

It turns out that somebody probably flushed something (paper towel, grapefruit, puppy, whatever) that they shouldn’t have. The items made it down to my level and started heading towards the main pipe out to the sewer, but didn’t make it all the way. Since it made it past my outlet pipes and since I am at the lowest level, all the water that couldn’t drain down came back up through my pipes. Nobody on the upper floors even knew there was a problem.

I hung around until the maintenance guy cleared things through. Everything finally did go down. Now I just need to build up enough resolve to actually use the tub again. I’ve had mildew before and I could live with that, but somehow this one seems different. I’m thinking it may take lots and lots of bleach (sorry, Ms N). After all, this was disgusting enough to keep the armies of darkness at bay.

Going Postal

On the same day that Ms N had her postal story, I was treated to one of my own. I went to the post office in my building to get a postage-paid envelope. I asked the lady at the counter how much it would cost to mail 7 sheets of paper. She wasn't sure. I asked her if she could take seven sheets of paper off her desk and put them on the scale with the envelope. "But you're going to fold them," she says.

Oh yeah, I forgot to factor in the weight of the folds!