On Religion

So, my girlfriend is on another person's* blog talking about religion - specifically about the difficulties of growing up Catholic. I have run into so many people who use the term "recovering Catholic" that it has become ubiquitous. Anyways, they both mention Lutherans - which I am - as being very close to the Catholics. The other person* said that we're "Catholic-Lite - all the spiritually, 2/3 less guilt" or something like that; she says we're "one step down" from the Catholics.

I've been removed from the church for a while, but now I've gotta' say something. I've gotta' lay the ol' theological smackdown here.

My confirmation instructor, Pastor Joanne, got pregnant while teaching our class (By which I mean she got pregnant during the same time-frame, not that, well, you know what I mean). Anyways, you tell me that having a married female pastor who is obviously engaging in reproductive endeavors is "one step" behind "come tell the 'celibate' priest all the naughty things you've been up to" Catholics.

• We have no confessions - Jesus knows what we've been up to.
• We sing better.
• We don't have nuns.
• We recognize gay people as people.
• Celibacy?
• No need to report your income to the church, just the IRS. ("Give unto Caesar ..." I believe it was once said)
• Planning parenthood is an acceptable option.

The list goes on. Anyways, I am not too closely associated with the church now, but I cannot even fathom how you could say Lutherans are "one step" below. Where do they rank the Baptists?

My buddy growing up was (well, I guess he still is) the son of a Southern Baptist minister. His dad is the guy who broke his leg at home in his living room watching a college football game on TV. (The only thing he was able to successfully convert me to was Alabama football. Roll Tide!) Anyways, when you look at the pressure put upon their respective members, you've got to rank the Baptists right up there. If anything, the Lutherans tend to be one of the more liberal religious groups out there. Look at Minnesota's voting record, for goodness sake.

The biggest difference between the Catholics and the Baptists is the liveliness of the congregation. My buddy would always invite me to his church for service and I went several times. But he always declined my reciprocal invitations. "I'll only go if I can shout 'Amen!' during the sermon," he said.

That would be rude. It would wake everybody up.

* I changed the gender-specific references because she thought I sounded like a jealous stalker by specifying that it was, indeed, another man's blog that she was visiting. By using generic terms like 'the other person' I remove any indication the blog she was visiting was that of another man.