And Another Thing ...

Don’t damn me
When I speak a piece of mind,
‘Cause silence isn’t golden
When I’m keeping it inside.
– Guns N’ Roses

Today is my day to be pissed off at everybody.

I’m pissed off at the eco-freaks I have to listen to who insist that man needs to give up the products of modern technology and return to nature. Guess what, we did that before and it didn’t work to well. Without the products of our collective ingenuity, we got wet, cold, and eaten by bears. There was no communing involved. Early man did not love nature – early man recognized that nature was trying to kill him. Why do you think every undeveloped culture in history spent so much time trying to appease the gods and spirits and such? We are supposed to venerate Native Americans for their recognition of spirits in every deer, flower, tree, and rock because of their supposed reverence for Mother Earth. Reverence, my ass! They were trying to keep the bitch from killing them in their sleep as she is wont to do.

Every 40-year-old who says we ought to cast aside the trappings of civilization and go live in the woods needs to have his head examined. Were it not for the trappings of civilization – medicine, mining, manufacturing, agriculture, commerce, transportation, etc. – you would be dead before your 35th birthday. You want to commune with nature? Good, start by fertilizing some trees. Here’s a shovel. You may be five years late, but you can still go bury yourself in the forest and fulfill your natural duty. Want out of your current job? No problem. Mother Nature is constantly trying to fill many entry level positions in her great restaurant, the Food Chain.

Before you go in the woods, make sure you leave your clothes, shoes, watch, compass, pre-made foodstuffs, tent, canteen, sleeping bag, portable stove, pots, pans, dishes, cups, bowls, communications equipment, and any other product of the Gaia-rapists behind. Those are bad. But bring some polio – that’s 100% natural! And I guess you can bring the shovel.

Oh yeah, if we’re all to go back to nature, we’ll also need our teenage girls to start popping our children left and right (not that some aren’t doing that already). We’ll need to start having lots and lots of kids to replenish those who are lost to disease, starvation, exposure, tigers, and such. We’ll have to start the girls at it early because natural women are so darned prone to death during childbirth. We can pick all the medicinal herbs and berries we want, but once a baby decides to come out butt first, you need to find a new momma. But at least we’ll be in harmony with Mother Earth!

I’m pissed at people who support Darwinian views on evolution and socialist policies at the same time. Predators, disease, accidents, and starvation are all part of natural selection. Natural Selection is neither pretty nor compassionate, nor is it humane. Quite the contrary, it’s brutal as hell. Survival of the fittest does not provide a pleasant alternative for the unfit. Not too many creatures in the jungle die of old age. Yet, as the Darwinians are quick to point out, this is a good thing. Thinning out the herd means that only the strongest survive long enough to pass on their genes to future generations. Allowing the weak to prosper and reproduce weakens the gene pool and puts the entire species at risk. Take wolves away from the caribou herd and soon the herd is crowded, underfed, and disease-ridden. Reintroduce the wolves and the slow, weak, and sick caribou become lunch. Their faster, stronger, and healthier cousins remain to produce fast, strong, healthy descendants. Plus the undergrowth grows back, meaning the remaining herd can eat, too.

So if we are to accept that we exist now because of billions of years of evolution – that we are the legacy of the fittest who survived – then we have to acknowledge that we are putting humanity at risk by allowing those who can’t make it on their own to reproduce. We care in direct conflict with the laws of nature. By feeding the hungry, nursing the sick, funding the poor, and supporting those with limited physical or mental capacities, we tax the healthy and dilute the gene pool. To be in harmony with Mother Earth we need to toss aside the sick and undesirable. She will make sure that have a role to fulfill. That’s why scavengers evolved, remember? Besides, by allowing these people to live, we have to intrude upon the environment more and more.

Speaking of evolution, how is it that the same group of people who claim that a little bird on an island off the coast of South America evolved an extended and hooking beak just so it could reach a particular type of seed wedged into a tree which, were it not for that particular type of bird pecking in that far, would have no way of spreading it’s seed and thus would die off, have a hard time accepting the idea of intelligent design? Evolution is coincidental, creation is purposeful. If any “intent” is being carried out then there must be some intender. No species can decide to grow hooves on its own, let alone a crooked beak. Besides, it would take thousands of generations. How would the tree make it that long without the crooked-beaked bird?

If natural selection is what is driving all of life on earth, apparently mankind has been selected. We are just part of the biomass, remember. We came up from the algae like everything else. Well, except for the algae. Unless we were created and placed on this planet, we are part of the planet. We are the current product of those billions of years of evolution. We are “natural.” Which means what we do is natural. Beavers aren’t evil for drowning moles when they build their dams. Tigers aren’t evil for taking down antelope (granted, they’re not exactly praised by the antelope). Sheep aren’t evil for stripping grass off fields. Pine trees aren’t evil for raising the level of acidity in the soil around them, thus poisoning the soil for other plants. My girlfriend’s guppy-like fish aren’t evil for eating the eggs of her catfish-like fish off the side of the tank. Sharks – well, perhaps they are evil, I’m just not going to tell them that in person. The point is life forms use what resources they have available and what traits they come with to attempt to thrive. And if they thrive, they can sprout, bear, lay, or otherwise produce offspring which will in turn attempt to thrive. This is the evolution engine running at full throttle.

So what traits have we? What are our resources? We certainly don’t have claws, armor, above-average speed, fur (except Mediterranean men), quills, that great of a digestive system (have you seen what dogs can eat without croaking?), a relatively weak immune system (they drink out of toilets, too), fangs, poisonous glands, blubber, fins, wings, gills, or any number of other natural defenses, yet we routinely eat lots of things that do. A human is, comparatively speaking, a fragile physical specimen. But we have significant cranial capacity. And sometimes we even use it.

It is in the nature of Man to think. And, once Man has thought, Man acts. Man builds, Man creates, Man adjusts, Man adapts, Man learns. Man puts things into order. Actually, Woman puts things in order while Man is sitting on his fat ass watching the game, but that’s beside the point. Man has survived because Man has changed his environment so that it is survivable. That’s what Man was designed to do (or what he coincidentally evolved into, if you prefer), and that’s what Man does. That is why Man has thrived – why Man has become the dominant being on the planet. Man is a part of nature, and Man has simply done what comes naturally.

If you support Darwinism, then Man is simply acting out his role. If weaker species die off because of Man’s actions, those species were obviously not strong enough to survive in a world with Man. Species come and go. How many rare and unique species have gone extinct throughout history because they only survived in coastal areas hit by tsunamis? How many species went extinct because a bird carrying some bacteria from a different part of the continent pooped while flying overhead? How many were simply too tasty for some other creature to resist? Or blown to smithereens by volcanoes? When the big comet hit that wiped out the dinosaurs, what came of the little rat-like hairy beings that survived? And with Man changing the environment to suit his needs, what other future species are getting the chance to take over once Man finally falls?

On the other hand, if we were created, then some religion out there is most likely correct. The religious fall into one of a few categories. Christians, Jews, and Muslims believe that God put Man on earth to rule it. Read Genesis, and then grab a steak. No sense in keeping that cow from performing his God-given role. Most polytheistic religions believe that Man is here to dominate unless the gods intervene. Hindus and Buddhists believe that the world is just imaginary, so it doesn’t matter. And the earth-spirit-harmony folks? Well, I think I’ve already covered them – with the shovel.

In other words, if you are religious, Man rules. If you are not religious, Man rules. If you are married, Man spends his time in the garage not getting sex.

Speaking of the religious, I’m pissed off at ultra-wealthy Christians who don’t want to contribute to the betterment of all parts of society. If you are Christian, odds are you’ve heard of this guy named Jesus who lived in the Middle East about 2000 years ago. Granted, he was Jewish, as were some other guys – Mathew, Mark, Luke, John – but he had a few pieces of advice worth listening too. Jesus was not too keen on some people hoarding food while others around them starved. Jesus was big on giving to the poor. He didn’t seem to think that money would help in Heaven. And Jesus told people to pay taxes (“Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s, give unto God that which is God’s.). Holy Son of Mary – Jesus was a Democrat! Oh wait, no, Jesus wasn’t keen on abortion and He advocated the reading of the Torah in classroom settings. Granted, He did have that whole “blessed-are-the-meek” thing. Perhaps He’d make an OK youth soccer coach.

So does the big J-C not want us to be rich? Are we supposed to be poor? Is the guy who pesters me for change when I head to the subway really the chosen one? No, he’s not very meek. How much does He think I should have? Obviously not everything I can get. In fact, He wants me to give a lot of that back.

So let’s see … unfettered capitalism runs along the same lines as Darwinism, which runs in direct conflict with religion which tends to advocate socialist principles. Yet atheists are more likely to advocate socialism. (Or is it the socialists advocating atheism?) Meanwhile, the religious right advocates capitalism and Christianity. At least the Ayn Rand folks are consistent. They feel that the only valid system is hands-off capitalism and there is no god. Everyone else is in conflict with themselves.

On a similar topic, but less religious, there is a legitimate reason why the wealthy ought to pay taxes. Yes, many wealthy people worked hard to put themselves into the positions they were in when opportunity came knocking. But you need a market of buyers in order to sell. And it’s the low-end buyers who account for a lot of movement of both dollars and products. Poor people don’t save much and don’t travel abroad very often, thus any dollar received by a poor person that gets spent legally goes back into the economy. You need the money to move. People buying means people selling, which means people advertising and lending and building and growing and employing and earning. Yes, it’s true that taxation moves money from those who attain success to those who don’t. However, commerce returns that money (and more) back to the wealthy. Granted, people should work for their money, but the money has to get there somehow. Consider it an investment in your future earnings.

Speaking of the poor and the wealthy, there is a vast difference between the work ethic and system of values between the two groups, and that thinking helps account for the growing divide. People with means tend to teach their children to view the world differently than those without, and it has an effect. A lot has to do with self-empowerment. When you look at the world as a place that has opportunities for success, often you will find said opportunities. When you view the world as a place where you can never succeed, odds are you won’t succeed. And, since success is harder than failure, which frame of mind do you think manifests itself in reality quicker?

The people who find a way out of poverty do not view the world the same as their neighbors. These are the people who insist that if they continue to apply themselves they will find some way to make things work. These are the kids who do their homework instead of playing PlayStation. These are the kids who put up with the other kids on the corner calling them all sorts of unpleasant names because they actually try to learn something. Yet flash forward ten or fifteen years. The kid who did his homework is now earning a real paycheck. Do the street rats congratulate him? Hell no. He sold out. He forgot where he came from. They are keeping it real. Then again, they are jobless and up in arms because “nobody gave them a chance to succeed.” Perhaps you didn’t find success because you weren’t looking for it.

I’m pissed at the Democrats for encouraging racism, sexism, class warfare, victimization, and poverty. By creating a huge welfare state, by removing the concept of individual achievement from schoolchildren and replacing it with a the-world-owes-me sense of entitlement, by putting people into groups instead of considering the merits of each individual, by putting blame for failure on society or the evil nasty corporations instead of the individuals who fail, and by teaching people that they are incapable of succeeding without a big government to feed them, clothe them, protect them, and provide for them, the Democrats have done a great job of producing a spineless, mindless, careless, reckless mob of unmotivated underachievers whose passions lie not in what they can do for themselves but instead in what others must do for them.

Success comes from seizing the opportunities you get and capitalizing upon them – but you won’t hear that from the Dems. In their view, success comes from being born rich, white, and with a penis. If you don’t meet those three criteria, they don’t think you’ll succeed – unless you vote for them, that is. Democrats – including their female representatives in high positions – preach that no woman can succeed in this country without big government there to keep the evil men in check. Democrats – including their black and Hispanic representatives in high positions – preach that no black or Hispanic person can succeed in this country without big government there to keep the evil white folks in check. The Democrats have a big government plan for everything except helping individuals seize opportunities and capitalizing upon them. But people who do that know that it is not big government that provides success, so they won’t vote Democrat. Democrats need people to feel like victims or else they get no support.

Want to keep a group of people down? Convince them that it’s OK to be unemployed – sitting on the street corner jobless because nobody else is giving them a chance to succeed – because the government will give them money, a place to live, and TVs. Convince them it’s OK to ignore their children because it’s the government’s responsibility to feed and educate them. Raising kids sucks up a tremendous amount of resources – encourage their teenagers and young adults to have lots and lots of sex, but don’t insist that the young fathers play important roles in their children’s lives. Promote cultural icons that advocate lying, cheating, stealing, robbing, and murdering, thereby encouraging to lie, cheat, steal, rob, and murder. Jail time isn’t shameful, it’s a sign that you’ve taken on The Man and you’re not going to let him hold you down. Convince them they are victims of forces beyond their control. And then, if you really, truly want to keep a group of people down, convince them that individual achievement is impossible because of who they are and that they need you to protect them. Democrats owe their existence to votes from people who they would shield their children from.

Democrats create dependency on big government. And look what happened to the citizens of New Orleans who were dependant on that big government to keep them safe. One thing about the war on poverty, it has a lot of victims. So does the war on drugs. Oh, and now there’s a war on pornography?

Republicans piss me off, too. The Republican Revolution was supposed to end big government, but the Republicans have been growing it larger and larger ever since they got in power. The whole point was to get the government out of the lives of the individuals, but instead they’ve intruded more and more. The individual has the right and freedom to make his own choices, yet TV and radio have to be controlled because people choose to listen to sex talk and fart jokes. Violence is allowed – encouraged even – but pop out a boob and look what happens! Republicans claim that unelected judges are more dangerous to America than bomb-toting terrorists, yet they plunge the government into dependency to China, of all countries, and let unelected lobbyists plunder the treasury. Our allies against the Axis of Evil include countries that gave countries in the AOE “nucular” secrets. Our allies in the war to establish democracy in the Middle East include countries that work to squander efforts to establish democracy in the Middle East. Our President says we’re fighting against religious fundamentalism, then relies on the support of religious fundamentalists to keep himself in office. It’s amazing how often catastrophes happen when the ruling party depends on catastrophes to keep in charge.

Let’s get this straight, people. It doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes caring and responsible parents. They may not do it alone, but they are ultimately responsible for mustering the resources to keep the kid fed and clothed, and they are responsible for instilling moral direction. It doesn’t take a union to keep a quality job, it takes quality performance. It doesn’t take big government to keep you alive, but it does take a small yet effective government to help you thrive. The strength of this country lies in its economy. The government needs to protect and preserve the free market, then let individuals step up and succeed. Laws designed to keep fraud out of the market need to be enforced, laws set up to force one group of people to accept the morals of another group need to be repealed. Everybody is entitled to their own misguided opinion. The deal goes like this, I grant you the right to your faith and you grant me the right to mine. We may not agree, but we respect each other. And if we respect? Well, most of those things that have pissed me off today go away.

I'll still be pissed that the Giants lost. Damn!